pink or pale.

who really knows which way thinks are going to go? are you going to take a chance and be eft pink or pale. who really can tell. taking a chance is one of those things-sometimes its easy and sometimes its so hard. it feels like everyone is studying you to see what your next move will be.

i know that it is the nature of my friends. they like to be in the loop and generally speaking everyone can read me like an open book. but i can't read anyone else. at least not anyone that i want to be able to read.

the difficult boy to read, he's like a wolf. dark and open, full of mystery and magic. he holds a certain shy protective power. i am terrified of what this means. i want to be daring and just pull him in to me and kiss him. but i don't know how. i'm worried that it will turn out to be too much. that i can't handle it. but i wont know until i try will i?

recently i've been so all over the place. i don't know how to put someone else into that. i guess i also feel like if i don't try these things i won't make any progress. and my god do i want to make progress.

i just want to kiss him. feel his skin against mine. i think this is normal.

at this point i really wish that someone read this. they could give me some advice. i could definitely do with some advice.