like alice down the rabbit hole i am falling. for awhile there i was simply sinking in thick heavy mud, then faster in quicksand and suddenly there was nothing underneath me at all. i was suddenly falling. i still am falling. and there feels like there is nothing and nobody to catch me.
i can't tell whether i'll be falling forever or if someday i'll unexpectedly hit the ground. if i'll just not wake up one day. because no-one was there to catch me. what will happen to me?
my family does not understand. my friends must be sick to death of all the drama. the fainting the tears the panic attacks. i don't have anyone to hold on to. it is so hard to hold on to myself. i just want someone to look after me. to hold me and say that its alright. to catch me. instead of letting me fall all the way.
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