somewhat anyway. i feel like i don't really have any emotions left. any sense of who i am and where i am going emotionally. its almost as if its been sucked dry. and i know that i am in a critically creative spot. but i really don't feel like i'm feeling anything. i don't know if that is normal or not?
i get really tired and i want to just curl up in a ball and cry but its like there are no tears to cry. its like i can't reach that level of emotion. i'm still laughing though so i guess its ok. i really need to talk to some friends. have a good honest conversation with them but i almost feel like i've forgotten how. like i've been covering for myself for so long now, thinking about everyone else and i've forgotten how to process my own life.
i want to talk to the piano man about this. but i don't feel i know him well enough. i also want to talk to bird, i worry though that we haven't talked in awhile and i hate to overwhelm people. i hate to bring them down. i hope she wants to know. sleepovers with them both are required i feel. i also miss peg.
life feels just like a heartless bitch right now. i cancelled therapy tomorrow, unsure as to whether this is a good or bad sign.
